I'm Pregnant! :))

I'm pregnant!! :)

I am so excited! I took a digital First Response test this morning with FMU, as well as another FRER. Both tests were very clearly positive! The second line on the FRER was darker and more pink than it was yesterday. I am also now getting faint positives on internet cheapies (which by the way, are garbage! They are supposed to be sensitive to 10mui - I call bullshit on that).   What a beautiful way to wake up:

I am beside myself. I had myself convinced that this was not our cycle. In fact, I was becoming increasingly convinced that this whole process was going to take much, much longer than I had thought (I mean really - 4% motility!). I feel so very, very blessed right now! :)

Betas on Thursday and Saturday. Praying for good numbers, and a healthy doubling time!

Please stick, little Bug. I already love you so much.

Looking Ahead

I know that this cycle hasn't quite come to an end just yet, but to be honest I am feeling a bit deflated, and not nearly as optimistic as I normally am. I blame it on the progesterone supplements - I really am a hormonal mess on this stuff. Anyway, I have been giving some thought to this whole process. My husband feels pretty strongly that the IUIs are not necessary, and that the sample-giving process is having a detrimental effect on his performance. He is obviously not a doctor, and I am certainly not convinced that he is right. That said, he does have some evidence to back him up. For example, he can point to the "natural" BFP we achieved from our November 2011 cycle, long before we had any reason to suspect that we had any fertility issues beyond my short luteal phase, and suspected progesterone deficiency. That may have simply been a stroke of luck, for surely, his sperm analysis does not suggest that pregnancy should have come so easily to us. The fact that we now also know that he has a varicoscele further supports the inference that his sample-giving difficulties do not tell the whole story.

Regardless, he feels pretty strongly about it, and has suggested several times this month that if this cycle isn't it, then we should consider giving the "old fashioned way" another chance. While I am not convinced that he is right, I think I might still agree to do it his way, just for one cycle. I think that would be enough to appease him. It will also give me a break from cycling, which I admit would be welcome. I reealize that I have not been doing the whole treatment thing for nearly as long as others, but that does not change the fact that it is difficult. This last cycle was my third consecutive month of being monitored (the first was for diagnostic purposes). I am already tired of waking up early and going into that office to be poked and prodded at least 7-12 days per month. My arms seem to be permanently bruised from the needles, and at times I feel like I get more action from the vag cam than I do from my husband. It is also extremely expensive. We have only minimal drug coverage, with an annual limit of just $1,000. My last cycle cost just under $1,600.

Perhaps a compromise would be to forego the IUIs, and thereby avoid the sample-giving hurdle, but still use the Gonal-f, to increase our chances with TI. Hmmm. Something to think about for sure.

I am of course getting ahead of myself again, as usual. I am only 8DPO. Maybe... just maybe.. you never know.

IUI #2.2 - My Husband is a Rockstar!

I had IUI#2.2 today, and am so happy to report that my husband's sperm finally came to the party! :) His motility shot up to 60% (progressive)!! Yesterday it was only 4%, so that is a huge difference! His concentration was decent (28 million per ml), and his volume was the best it has been yet (2ml). Overall, awesome result! We had 13 million motile post wash! :)) I am so so relieved. Even if this doesn't work this cycle, I have a little more hope now, as there is evidence that his boys can put on a good showing. :)

I think the difference might actually be the lack of abstaining this time. His motility has been consistently higher when he doesn't abstain for more than 24 hours, and substantially lower when he does (for example, he abstained for 3 days before the 4% motility yesterday). His count is higher when he abstains, but frankly, who gives a fuck if we have 100 million immotile sperm? So, no more abstaining for us. It's more fun this way anyway! ;)

As for me, the jury is out on whether I had already ovulated. The ultrasound technician said definitely not, but the nurse said maybe/probably based on my bloodwork (progesterone went up, estrogen fell slightly). The doctor was adamant that I would not ovulate until 36 hours after the trigger, and that my bloodwork was normal for right before ovulation. Dr. Google is, of course, inconsistent - some sources say progesterone starts to rise immediately before ovulation, and some say it only rises after (and no, I am not consulting Yahoo answers!). I did get one positive OPK the night before trigger, but I got a negative within hours, and my bloodwork has not shown an LH surge. Perhaps it was a short surge, and maybe it was a false positive. Who knows. Either way, it was at least close. With multiple follies and 13 million swimmers, I can't help but hope!

IUI #2.1 - 4% Motility, WTF??

I had IUI #2.1 today (ie. the first of two back-to-back IUIs this cycle). It did not go very well. There is good news and bad news. The good news is, the collection condoms really did do the trick - my husband's sample volume trippled to 1.5 ml! His concentration was great, at 70 million per ml. The problem, and the bad news, is his motility. It was a whopping 4%! :(. We knew it was low, but we were not anticipating a number like that (it has previously been 26% and 17%). The extremely low motility made a big difference. Notwithstanding that we had upwards of 100 total sperm, only 3 million survived the wash, with 85% of them being motile. Dammit!. If it's not one thing, it's a-fucking-nother. Of course the doctor also could not get the catheter past my stupid cervix again either, and so she had to use the foley balloon method again.

This is so frustrating.

On the plus side, to the extent that it even matters at this point, I had an awesome response to the Gonal-f! Even at the low dose of 87.5, I had three perfect mature follies, with two that were very close (1.6 cm each), and another three at 1.5 cm! The odds of any more than the three most mature follies containing an egg are about 50/50, according to my RE. Of course, none of that matters if we don't have enough good sperm to work with. *sigh*

I guess we will try again tomorrow. My bloodwork and ultrasound today showed that I had not yet ovulated, so there is still hope. We really need to get to the bottom of this motility bullshit though. My husband has an initial appointment with a urologist in July, which can't come soon enough.