Looking Ahead

I know that this cycle hasn't quite come to an end just yet, but to be honest I am feeling a bit deflated, and not nearly as optimistic as I normally am. I blame it on the progesterone supplements - I really am a hormonal mess on this stuff. Anyway, I have been giving some thought to this whole process. My husband feels pretty strongly that the IUIs are not necessary, and that the sample-giving process is having a detrimental effect on his performance. He is obviously not a doctor, and I am certainly not convinced that he is right. That said, he does have some evidence to back him up. For example, he can point to the "natural" BFP we achieved from our November 2011 cycle, long before we had any reason to suspect that we had any fertility issues beyond my short luteal phase, and suspected progesterone deficiency. That may have simply been a stroke of luck, for surely, his sperm analysis does not suggest that pregnancy should have come so easily to us. The fact that we now also know that he has a varicoscele further supports the inference that his sample-giving difficulties do not tell the whole story.

Regardless, he feels pretty strongly about it, and has suggested several times this month that if this cycle isn't it, then we should consider giving the "old fashioned way" another chance. While I am not convinced that he is right, I think I might still agree to do it his way, just for one cycle. I think that would be enough to appease him. It will also give me a break from cycling, which I admit would be welcome. I reealize that I have not been doing the whole treatment thing for nearly as long as others, but that does not change the fact that it is difficult. This last cycle was my third consecutive month of being monitored (the first was for diagnostic purposes). I am already tired of waking up early and going into that office to be poked and prodded at least 7-12 days per month. My arms seem to be permanently bruised from the needles, and at times I feel like I get more action from the vag cam than I do from my husband. It is also extremely expensive. We have only minimal drug coverage, with an annual limit of just $1,000. My last cycle cost just under $1,600.

Perhaps a compromise would be to forego the IUIs, and thereby avoid the sample-giving hurdle, but still use the Gonal-f, to increase our chances with TI. Hmmm. Something to think about for sure.

I am of course getting ahead of myself again, as usual. I am only 8DPO. Maybe... just maybe.. you never know.