Here We Go Again!

I am so excited!!! :)

Believe it or not, we conceived naturally this time, while breastfeeding, on our very first cycle trying! No fertility meds or procedures necessary.   Other than Prometrium, that is.  I had my progesterone tested before we started to TTC and not surprisingly, it was low again.  Thank goodness there are supplements for that!

I am 4 weeks, 5 days along as of today!

Betas look good, with a 39 hour doubling time.  I have an ultrasound scheduled for next Thursday.

I am trying very hard to stay relaxed about this whole thing, and to not obsess over my past losses and the potential for miscarriage now, especially given my age.  I'm doing better than I thought I would in this regard - probably only because I just don't have the time I used to have, to sit around worrying and thinking so much.

Which is probably a good thing, because something tells me that if I really thought about how difficult it will be to have two (barely) under two, I might just panic.  :)

Moving On (Soon, I Hope!)

So, IUI#1 was a bust.  I'm not surprised, really, given our low numbers this cycle and the difficulty the doctor encountered in performing the IUI itself.  Still, there was a chance, especially given the fact that we also had well-timed sex in addition to the IUI.  Oh well.  Time to move on, and focus on the next cycle! 

Which I would love to do, if only my stupid period would show up already!

Another reason to hate prometrium.  Not only did it turn me into a crazy person for two weeks, and not only did it mimick pregnancy symptoms and thereby fuck with my head, but now, it is preventing me from moving on to my next cycle by keeping my period at bay.  I took my last dose Thursday morning and still, no sign of my period.  *sigh*  I want to get this show on the road already! 

The delay is particularly annoying right now because it is threatening to mess up a trip that I have been looking forward to for months.  We have an amazing waterfront campsite booked at one of the most beautiful parks in the province for Canada Day weekend.  I booked the site almost six months ago, and have been looking forward to it ever since.  Camping is one of my very favorite things - especially the first trip of the year (which this will be).  We have friends coming with us as well.  I am honestly SO excited.  The problem of course is the timing.  Depending on when my stupid period shows, we may need to cancel the trip, because I may need to be in the city to be monitored / triggered / inseminated. 

That's the thing about fertility problems, they're never exactly convenient, are they?!

 I will be taking Gonal-f for the first time this month.  I am hoping that it will cause me to be ready to trigger earlier than usual, in which case we may still be able to go on our trip, albeit with timed intercourse rather than IUI - which frankly, might not be a bad thing.  If I am not ready to trigger before we would otherwise leave for the weekend, I am not sure that they will "let" me go.  Can I skip the trigger when using Gonal-f, and just wait to ovulate on my own?  I have never had issues ovulating, so I would think that it might be okay.  That said, I have also never used this drug before, and I do not yet know much about it.  Is it necessary to trigger when using it, to avoid over-stimulation? 

Lots of questions for my doctor at my day 3 appointment I guess.  For now, I wait...and drink!  There is always a silver lining, right?  ;)

Prometrium, I Hate You.

I will start this post by saying that I am grateful that I have finally been prescribed a progesterone supplement, which I have suspected was in order since I began charting my temperature in September 2011 and realized that my LP was 7-8 days (9 days in March 2012, yay!).  It was so frustrating to repeatedly get my period before an embryo would have been able implant and begin producing enough HCG to tell my body that it was pregnant (if it was).   I also suspect that my January miscarriage may have been related to my low progesterone that cycle (10nmol/L @ 7DPO; should have been >25nmol/L, or >10ng/mL).  So, while I am about to complain about prometrium, I am very thankful that I am taking it.

Now that that disclaimer is out of the way....

Prometrium is such a mind fuck! 

Prometrium is known to have side effects that are similar to early pregnancy symptoms, and I can certainly atttest to that.  My breasts literally feel like they are going to fall off!  They are not just tender, as they would normally be during the two week wait (2WW) - they are extremely sore.  The only other time that they have felt like this was, of course, when I was pregnant. 

I am also extremely emotional and moody.  I am crying (or at least, my eyes are watering) at least 4 or 5 times a day.  It sucks.  This is also a symptom that I very clearly remember experiencing when I was pregnant.

Other annoying symptoms side effects include backache, bloating, cramps and occasional nausea.  And of course, my temperature has remained elevated.

I am not naive.  I am well aware that all of this is more than likely being caused by the progesterone, and has no bearing whatsoever on whether or not I am knocked up.  I get that.  Several of these side effects actually started several days before implantation would even have occured.  Still.... I have to admit that it is a total mind fuck. 

I am not optimistic about this cycle, because MH's numbers were terrible for our IUI (he apparently has issues producing a representative sample when under pressure).  Still, it is hard to stay realistic and grounded during this 2WW when my body (or rather, the prometrium) is fucking with my head like this. 

Prometrium, I hate you.